hehehehe

because Loki has no idea how easily he could obtain this ' creature '

heheheehe...hehe...he....
...
Tony you ass

dissapointed

"
Human behave yourself,
you have burst at the seams
let it all fall out open your mouth
often I lie wide awake,
think of things I can make
but I don’t seem to have the parts to build them
Human I wonder why you’re a better make than I could ever build or create,
you know not love or hate
I am so scared of what will kill me in the end for I am not prepared,
I hope I will get the chance to be someone,
to be human,
look what we’ve done,
 I would give my life, to be human
I would give my life, to be.
Human I’m trying to come clean,
I will be a better me,
I will not drink until I’m dead
I’ll make the most of it.
I don’t know what it’s like to be alive,
to say goodbye,
to cry a thousand tears because my ears won’t listen
Human I’m trying not to lose my faith in you,
I’ve sussed out all that I’ve seen through,
I’ve sailed an ocean
I am so scared of what I’ll look like in the end for I am not prepared,
I hope I will get the chance to be someone
to be human,
look what we’ve done,
I would give my life, to be human

I used to hear it all so loud,
the sound of my heart breaking.
The truth is waiting to be found,
I trust that I will take it
I would give my life, to be (human) "

I adore the lyrics of this song. For this is how I look at the people around me from time to time.
Sometimes it's hard for me to understand that I am just like them.
I do not feel better, or worse, just different. Because some do things I simply can't understand.
They hurt, use, play with others, They do not care about what damage they do.
Broken and shattered heart are scattered all around this world and people that care are growing rare.
All you can do is watch it happen from a safe distance, hoping people like that would never break into your life.
Sometimes, They manage to cross that distance though, sometimes you endure it yourself and even though you know what's going on you can't stop the hearteache, the dissapointment, the sadness and sorrow from taking over every single part of your mind, body and soul.
You can't stop that person from doing what it's doing.
people telling you they love you, even though they only want to get in your pants
people telling you, you're the only one, while they hide the existance of their girlfriend/boyfriend for you.

Seriously is that what being a ' human ' is all about ? Hurt before you get hurt ?
I'm getting more and more dissapointed in the people that surround me.
And, I really shouldn't be complaining though. I have many people close to me that are amazing, sweet, and wonderful.
Sadly those people are growing rare.
What is humanity growing into  ? Or has humanity always been like this ?
I'd really, really give my life to see humanity grow into what it should be.
I'd really give my life to grow into such a person as well .
I'd really give my life to be sure the man that will be the father of my children will love me for who I am.
I'd really give my life to be sure my children won't have to use others in order not to get used themselves.

I'd really give my life to see everyone become more human.

no more school for me!

Today was the last day I had to go to my goldsmithing class.
I managed to finish all my assignments on time! Even though I really had to work like a madman!
I'm also satisfied with the grades me teacher gave me!
I got 80 % on my first assignment
86% on my second
And 90 % on my last!

So I'm really glad with those! I hope my boss will be satisfied as well!

Also, Yesterday I tried to draw Loki but his ' I'm-gonna-rule-you-all ' smirk isn't that easy to draw .
So, I tried to draw his face seperatly to get a hang of it.
When I tried again it was his body that was failing miserably. ( I'm not that skilled in drawing male bodies )
So...after several attempts I just ended up drawing myself in a somewhat Loki-ish costume. ( Since 1 : female body! and 2 : my face is easy to draw! hooray for tiny round faces )
As soon as It's internet worthy I'll post it here on my blog.
Do not expect too much from it though. It's been a while since I've drawn and I can tell I'm having more difficulties than ever.
That's why I'm so wise not to upload my first failed Loki attempts :') hahaha
Funny thing is I always draw whatever person I'm drawing, naked, before I start to add clothing.
So , since I didn't finish the Loki drawing, he's kinda half naked for the moment.

hehehe...maybe I should upload it.
But then I'd need to fix it first O_O
it looks kinda awkward for the moment.

I hate this heat ! * hisses*

I'm happy it's gotten warmer, because I do enjoy walking outside without wearing a jacket.
However...there are limits !!
My skin is so sensitive it can't even handle my own sweat.
( ugh I know disgusting right ? Luckely I'm one of those persons that hardly ever sweats )
Every single time during this time of the year, the skin on my hands get irritated ( for some reason the skin on the back of my hands is incredibly sensitive... )
So, I'm not amused! For working with all those products, metals and rough material at work, my skin is going through a lot.
Today my skin actually reacted to white gold!
Having an allergy to gold is pretty rare, but I only have it during this time of the year.
( actually, the skin on my hands reacts on EVERYTHING during this time of the year )
And my skin always starts acting up when it gets too warm outside.... It's no sun allergy, it's really just that the skin on my hands can't handle sweat. gnnnn
That's not all, it's not only the skin on the back of my hand, but also the tip of my nose...
I look retarded.
And, it gets worse! if I use a product on this infected skin, I get allergic to it.
The gel I used for it, suddenly made my skin swell and burn. And this happens every single year when my skin starts acting up!
So, I got another one .... same happened
and then they gave me another one!
And yeah.... same happened.
This x 10 and you get the amount of things I've already tried. It's crazy.
But at first they all worked perfectly fine!

( and yes a Loki gif has to be used because it's starting to turn into a little habbit... I mean...I had one or more in almost all my previous posts. let's just keep it up until I have no more gifs to use )

so, the specialist told me " Why don't you just....keep everything away from it okay ?  It's werid, we have no idea what's wrong with you....you have a mutant-like skin... it's scary....get it away from me"
so yeah.... I just have to hope it will go away by itself.
( that's not really what they said but that's how I heard it )

Also, I HATE showing my legs.
Stockings are my best friend....I never wear a skirt without wearing something to cover my legs.
But because of this heat wearing stockings is a no go.
But wearing long trousers isn't really pleasant either.... So yeah.... I hate this heat.
So, I'll just torture myself and wear stockings anyway.
no way I'll be walking on the street with naked legs.

and ofcourse....no wearing black.
Lately I've only been buying black clothing.
So now I'm pretty screwed, I need to go shopping.
AGAIN

SO many reasons to hate this heat!

result exam and my hatred for waiting...

So, Remember I went to see the Avengers for the second time the day before my final exam ?
Well, I got the results today.
I scored a 125 on 150, be proud my Avengers, be proud.
Owned that exam....

I know right ? I'm good, Damn....So good....



Today I overslept though :') I haven't been able to sleep the past few nights.
I even took a sleeping pill a few days ago and it didn't even work.
*sigh*
I guess it's the stress of getting everything done on time.
Ofcourse, at work I don't really have to worry about something like that. But I still have school on tuesday and I have an assignment I need to finish.
Only one more lesson next week so I'll have to get everything done in just 4 hours next week.

I brought in one of my wax birdskull models and the casted piece will already be waiting for me tomorrow after 2.
Sadly I won't be able to pick it up since I'll be at work.
So, I'll have to wait an entire week before I can go and pick it up.

But, that's not the ' wait ' I mentioned in the title of this blog.
No, Currently I'm waiting for my money to be transferred to my paypal account so I can finally order my loki Figurine!

It should happen today... so I'm checking my inbox for an email from paypal every 5 minutes.
I hate this waiting.... god I want to order him so badly.
Expensive? My mother must not know!

Yes finally!

My Payapl account is now ready for use!
I already have an enormous wishlist waiting for me on Ebay.
oh dear lord where to start ?

First things first! First I'll select the things I need NOW!
....
Darnit "need now" and "want now " is kinda the same thing... so it's not really helping me out.

Stuff I need for jewellery first!
And for Phosphene!

Score, selection time.... and then, ordering time!

Sushi....nyum

So, today it was Sushi day!
Milinda, Bart and I went to our favorite sushi restaurant in Antwerp, The " Zao Wang "
we ate like crazy.... Like we do every time when we're there.
One mixed boat for the three of us, plus 3 extra rolls.
Kamikaze, dragon eyes and sexy roll are my favorites...

Tomorrow, I'll be visiting my old school, the Royal Academy of fine arts.
But first, I'll have to go to my jewellery technique class in Syntra.

the exercise we're doing there is extremely boring.... And takes way too long.
Not to mention the end result is far from pretty.
Yeah it's something I'll never wear. ugh....
But hey, it's just an exercise on technique, not on creativity.

Next to all of that, I really miss my BJD, his body looks kinda creepy without it's head.
but he's in good hands!

In wax sculpting class, I'm planning on making some jewellery pieces for my BJD.
I have crazy plans in mind, I'm just worried they'll be a little bit too crazy....I hope I'll get to realize them.

Camera ?

To make this blog interesting, I'll keep a small camera in my purse
So, I can take pictures of the jewellery pieces I'm working on.

I'm looking for it right now...it's here somewhere...

 At work I'm working on a solid bracelet.
It's just an exercise ( not for a customer ) , but then you can get an idea of the goldsmithing techniques I'm currently learning.
and, after work I'll go straight to the wax sculpting class. I'm currenlty just messing around and experimenting like crazy.... so It's not like I'm doing anything productive there for the moment.

However I'll be taking my Camera to Leuven as well on saturday!
There, my BJD Blood by Immortality of soul will finally get his faceup!

He'll have to stay with the faceup artist for a month though....
But I trust her! and I'm sure she'll do an amazing job!
The faceup will be pretty unique for the Blood sculpt.
All the other faceups I've seen on that sculpt are always very dark, but I'll be going for mainly white accents.

I'm so excited about it really... Once he'll come back home again, I'll give him his new name. He has been waiting for it for so long.
Phosphene.
So yeah, you can guess it. He'll be my vision on the personification of phosphenes. 

Just found the camera! hoozah!
Be ready for a picture spam

Back again

I doubt you people remember me. But, I used to have a blogger a few years ago as well.
I deleted it because I was so busy, and life was getting ahead of me.

luckely, I've managed to make time for my creative hobbies and work.
Therefor, I decided it was time to give a blog another try.
What you'll find here, are mostly character designs for the fantasy story I'm writing.
jewellery concepts, designs and realisations.
reviews about things that inspire me.
and modeling pictures of myself.
all through the eyes of a mind consumed by personification.

I should warn you all, that I'm also a huge fan of the Final fantasy series...so you will come across some post ( and fanart ) about that as well.